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They say the way you butchered Tuesday was
The same as sour milk - in the doorway, the
Way it framed you inch for inch,
You held knives like butterflies, let them go
Where they flew, effortlessly
To land with a
thud
Into the kitchen wall

I could have wrapped my hands around your
Skinny ankles, your hands will never reach
Octaves now that you've become
Frozen
You were dark in the cheeks but
Pale in the legs, and they whisper about how you ran,
So fast,
And the sun could never catch you to
Sugar your skin brown

And then you
.shattered.
Your porcelain legs
Were left for me to collect
In the dirt of
The paddock


And this isn't a noir, darling, this is something
A bit more hazy than that
That afternoon, that very silt-sifted afternoon, your hair
Caught fire from July dustflowers that blossomed
In the sky like
Blood on the
Carpet
©2006-2009 ~gutterbreed
:icongutterbreed:

Author's Comments

i feel like writing, watch me make things up!

Comments


love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconrepent4thinegrace:
Second half of the second stanza: I think we found our lucky charms.

--
lesbionic tendencies
:icongutterbreed:
oh, aye, you c'n betcher life onnit :)

--
Automatons gather all the pieces so the world may be increased
In simulation jubilation for the builders of the body of the beast
:iconnimbus9:
Caught fire from July dustflowers that blossomed
In the sky like
Blood on the
Carpet

----yum...


I missed your writing really really badly! this one, gave me my fix for now. Hope feel like writing somemore

--
Long days and pleasant nights

~jef

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pretend I said something clever and profound
:icongutterbreed:
and i missed yours! i'm not on too often but i'm off to read your new addition to your gallery (if i don't comment it's for lack of time, i gotta be on a plane soon).

you flatterer ;) you're gonna make me start thinking my writing is good lol

--
Automatons gather all the pieces so the world may be increased
In simulation jubilation for the builders of the body of the beast
:iconyekdorb:
huh. this is different. feels, i don´t know, more like you´re looking out a window on a rainy day, remebering, than most of your other pieces do.
i like the small action in each stanza. the knives, the grab for the ankles, the shattering, the blossoming. there´re these small details that jump out, like the image of the doorway or the paddock. and the flowers, of course the flowers.
i like the third stanza especially. it stands out from the other three, adds a little kick that makes the piece complete.
que bonita.
:icongutterbreed:
thank you :) that's very sweet of you!

--
Automatons gather all the pieces so the world may be increased
In simulation jubilation for the builders of the body of the beast
:icongutterbreed:
mmm...reading into smaller actions will always be effective for me. it's like...it's like..."the moment the explosion hit a strand of her hair crossed her face, halfway up the bridge of her nose. the middle finger of her left hand curled torturously, the rest of her fingers reaching towards the west. i could tell because the shadows from the midmorning sun were cast towards the beach." imagine if we could remember details like that.

it is remembering, rather than creating. i'm glad you noticed. but of course, you would be the one to do so, wouldn't you? <3

--
Automatons gather all the pieces so the world may be increased
In simulation jubilation for the builders of the body of the beast
:iconfiresoulphoenix:
I love the "darling" after "noir."

Aw, hell, I love this entire thing.

:aww:

--
Why Not?

Details

July 17, 2006
1.1 KB

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